Submitted by: Sidney Sherman
Developments of anger and outbursts of frustration are not uncommon among teens and younger adults. The expression of anger is not abnormal by any means, but over time, outbursts of anger and resentment can lead to horrific habits when it comes to the way a child or young person expresses that anger.
Expressions of anger are not abnormal among children, it is at this early age that the life long anger patterns can develop if a program to deal with the anger is not implemented. It is important to teach children how to process and express negative emotions such as anger in decent and appropriate ways. Conditioning children from an early age to control their anger is important in the development of the child’s mind.
When dealing with teen anger, the parents needs to be disciplined and steadfast in dealing with the teen’s aggression. The parent must be a good communicator in order to have insight about what issues the youth is dealing with outside the home. Parents need to be supportive and caring when they see that their child is visibly upset, for it is the ignorance to the problem that will make the child even more upset. Also, the parent must speak to the child, explaining the acceptable ways to deal with and express the anger they are feeling.
One excellent way to curb anger outbursts and unacceptable tantrums is through positive reinforcement. Reward the child for self-control and appropriate anger management. By rewarding the children for controlling their out bursts, they will learn the acceptable ways to deal with anger. Remind them that their self-control is very important by granting special privileges when the child has behaved appropriately for a certain period of time. Take away the special privileges if the child uses unacceptable forms of expression such as violence or profanity.
A lot is said about quality time, but quantities are essential. It’s often when you’re cleaning out the garage or taking a road trip that tidbits of information are released that clue us in to what our teen is dealing with.
Teens usually have difficulty with communication. Journaling can be an outstanding resource. As they look back over what they’ve written, they realize that the biggest problem a week ago isn’t even a thought currently. As that happens several times, they learn to put their problems in the perspective that time changes everything – even the worst things.
A helpful strategy is list-making. Writing down the individual problems rather than lumping them all into one mass takes the power away from them. The monster is reduced to its individual parts and each part can be dealt with separately. Another list of the positive things in life is beneficial as well. At first there may be few, but as time goes on and negative things are dealt with, good things can take their place.
Aerobic exercise releases toxins and pent-up stress. Doing it with a friend or even a parent is refreshing. I remember roller-skating once with my boys, and we ended in a heap laughing till the tears came. And that brings up laughter. Sometimes a teen is taking their problems so seriously it’s hard to find anything to laugh about. But there are some pretty funny movies out there. Find out what he likes and go to it with him (and try hard to laugh at the “corn”.).
Anyone dealing with high levels of stress may be surprised to learn it’s something all people deal with at various times of life. It ebbs and flows for everyone.
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